According to Facebook updates I have been reading this week is happily married husband and wife week. I have really been wanting to write a post about my hubby and my thoughts on something that has been bothering me, so I figured that this was the perfect opportunity to have an excuse to do so!
First my thoughts about something that has really been bothering me for a while:
Have you guys noticed that when you watch commercials and TV, men are usually made to look like idiots? I honestly rarely watch TV, but every time that I do, I get really annoyed by this. The men are always making mistakes, doing something that is not smart, and the super smart woman comes along and rolls her eyes or has to rescue them? I had noticed it before, but now that I have a son, it bothers me even more.
I do not want to call out specific brands because I try to be nice to everyone, but there are commercials about yogurt, insurance, cleaning windows and so much more where the man is portrayed as being an idiot. The woman who is in charge then has to come and rescue him, explain something to him, or say something ridiculous that obviously will not work, and then the man does something even stupider. Even if there is a large group of men and women, it is always a man that makes the mistakes.
I assume that these shows and commercials are doing this because women spend most of the money, and they are trying to make the men seem stupid so the women who are buying these products feel really smart so hopefully more products are sold.
Well, I for one am really tired of it. I think that it is a dangerous thing to be portraying men as idiots. I have a son and nephews, and I do not want them to be thinking about this stereotype. I really think that these things have gone too far and become the norm. While I do believe that women are just as intelligent as men, I do not think that men are stupid and women are smart.
Since I don’t have an in with lots of big companies to express my displeasure with these tactics, I thought that instead, I would just make some positive comments about my own husband and men in general on this blog.
When I first got married to my husband, I must admit that, like most people, those first 6 months were kind of rough. I had watched all of those commercials and TV shows showing that the woman is smart and in charge. Without realizing the influence these stereotypes had had on me, I did at first assume that I was smarter and would always be right. After all, I made straight A’s in school, I always got the awards at work etc.
After six months of fighting, I had won an argument, and it turned out that my husband was actually right, and I was wrong. I was very wrong actually, no denying that he should have won that argument. That same day, I read Ephesians 5 in my quiet time. The verse that stood out to me was Ephesians 5:33 “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
I realized that I was not showing very much respect to my husband at all. I had been arguing until I got my way every time, and he was getting angry as a result of the fact that I was not respectful to him and had to have my way. I remember praying that night that God would help me to respect my husband. I decided that for 2 weeks, I would not argue at all. Honestly, I knew that he had never wanted to do something that was “wrong”, we just had different opinions, and I had been wanting my way.
So, for 2 weeks, I chose to only think about positive things about my husband. I actually made a list of them to refer to because obviously I really loved him to have married him, and so there were quite a few good things about him. Anytime that a negative thought came into my mind, I just started listing all of the good things about him. I also did not argue with him even if he tried to start one. (He was a little suspicious the first couple of days, but after that he seemed to expect it.) Our lives were so much calmer and happier. After about a week, I noticed that he was acting completely different as well. At the end of two weeks, our marriage was better than it ever had been. When I had read Ephesians 5:33, the fact that he was supposed to love me had stood out as well, and at the time I “knew” that he loved me, but I really did not “feel” it. At the end of the two weeks, he was different towards me, and I felt very loved and cherished.
Our marriage has just kept growing stronger and stronger since then, and I can still pinpoint the day that it changed, and it was because I chose to respect my husband. Honestly we were fighting enough at the time, for it to be difficult for me to respect him, but it just kept getting easier and easier, because when I chose to compliment him on what he did right, not nag him and showed him the ways that I respected him he grew in those areas and in others. Every time that he did something that was helpful or kind, I told him thank you and that I really appreciated it. That encouragement seemed to spur him on to do more and better kind things that I could easily respect him for doing. Over time I realized that I could truly respect almost everything about my husband and trust his decisions.
I am really fortunate to have a godly husband that makes really wise decisions. He also honestly wants what is best for me. It is very apparent that he loves me and our children, and would do anything for us. As I have learned that, I know that when he decides that we need to do something that I am not happy about, there is always a good reason. I am able to talk to him about it, and he is able to show me why logically we can’t do something that “seemed” good to me. He is so logical, while I can be so emotional. We make a good team because he is able to listen to everything that I say, and then logically help me figure out what is best. He does not dominate me, or make all of the decisions. But, I do respect what his decisions. I think that men really need respect, and when they are given respect, it helps them flourish and they become easier and easier to respect. And, I think that when we respect our husbands it is easier for them to love us, and what wife doesn’t want her husband to love her. (-: Eric somehow manages to make me feel like the most beautiful, perfect woman around, and I love that about him because he honestly seems to think that I am.
As we have gone through the years, and I have supported my husband, I do think that he has gotten easier to respect in every area of his life. He has gotten older, wiser and more capable. I absolutely adore my amazing husband! He is very capable and intelligent. He makes very sound decisions, and I am SO incredibly blessed to be his wife. I love him very much!!
I think that so many women put men down because it is the stereotypical thing to do, and I have just really wanted to write something about it so that hopefully we can at least be aware of the inaccurate stereotypes that we are being fed, and hopefully protect ourselves in someways from it.
So, if you respect your hubby too, or want your son to not feel like he has to be a stereotype, I would love to hear about it in the comments!